Balancing our day to day emotions

Emotions are part of every moment of every day — from quiet pauses of gratitude, feelings of joy while you smile at a loved one, to sudden waves of worry or sadness that just feel too ..... much. Emotions shape how we think, how we act, and how we perceive and connect with the world in and around us.

Sometimes, unfortunately, the overwhelm of a situation and an inability to return to your baseline holds you longer than is healthy.  We may replay the experiences in our minds, we feel & hold them, sometimes very deeply in our bodies —unexplainable feelings of being off, no longer yourself, , have tight muscles, restless nights, fatigue. What our body is trying to tell us is that we may be experiencing what’s called emotional dysregulation — when our usually negative emotions overstay their welcome or grow louder than the moment or experience calls for.

In my continuing studies in Practical AromaPsychology, I’m exploring how having an aromatic self-care practice can help shift us back into balance when we need it.  In lesson # 2, we talk about how aromas can be true allies in guiding us from negative emotions into positive mind sets, help us balance our ever changing feelings, thoughts, emotions and provide support as we work through life’s peaks, valley and our own personal journeys. 

 Aromas are also very well suited in the therapeutic toolbox for those needing the guidance of specialized techniques found in modalities such as cognitive behavior training, and guided mindfulness based stress reduction strategies focused on reducing anxiety, panic attacks, fatigue, grief and PTSD and other mental health conditions.

Its all about balance - Why Regulating Our Emotions is important

Healthy emotional regulation is not about avoiding or ignoring our emotional responses to the world around us — it’s about awareness, noticing, understanding, articulating and responding to our feelings in ways that builds up our mental health instead of tearing it down.

When we’re regulated, we can:
✔️ Recognize what we feel — without judgment.
✔️ Make thoughtful choices about what comes next.
✔️ Let go of feelings that no longer serve us.

When we’re dysregulated, we might:
⚡ Experience emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, irritability, over thinking
⚡ Freeze up or shut down, unable to find the words to explain how we are struggling,
⚡ Struggle to rest or sleep, to eat well if at all, inability to make decisions big or small
⚡ Feel stuck in loops of trying to find the cause, overthinking, worry or sadness, followed by feelings of inadequacies, incompetence, negative self talk

If you think you or someone you know is in a state of dysregulation please speak to your doctor, mental health professional or other trusted medical professional without anymore delay.  While aromatherapy can be helpful, it is just one tool of many in the mental health toolbox and your chosen medical professional is best suited to lead your support team.

Alchemy with Aromas for Emotional Balance – How does it happen ?

Aromas have a direct line to the parts of the brain that manages our emotion and memory — the amygdala and hippocampus, which are parts of our limbic system. This helps explain why a single whiff of aroma can evoke a memory form long ago, make us smile as we recall a feeling of joy or serenity, or reliably calm a mind overwhelmed by too many thoughts.  With this same concept, we can use essential oils to knowledgeably influence how we perceive, respond to and adjust our challenging emotions and our undesired reactions.  

Six Core Emotions & How Aromas Can Help

Our mentor in this program, Jonathan Benavides, has identified six core emotions — three negative and 3 positive feelings. By identifying the core emotions that you want to embrace or release we gain a starting point for the oils that may be allies in our transformation.   

Negative:

Sadness — an ever-present heaviness, feeling of despair which can lead to isolation, or depression.  Having a safe space to open the heart center, identify the stuck emotion(s) that needs space to lift and move. Movement and honest, but gentle self-reflection pair beautifully here — a walk outside, a moment of somatic stretching, a tearful journal session as needed can all be supported using oils. 

Try bright, crisp forest-fresh or citrus aromas like Black Spruce, Pink Grapefruit, Balsam Fir, Lemon Verbena, or Vanilla.

Fear — an internal alarm that keeps ringing long after the danger is gone. That feeling of hypervigilance, not knowing what is going to happen next or how to prevent a negative outcome.  Oils can help calm those thoughts by grounding you in the safety of the present moment.  

Bay Laurel, Hemlock Spruce, Atlas Cedarwood, Angelica Root can remind you that you are safe, right here, right now.

Anger — an intense burst of destructive energy that begs for release and then calm.  In addition to physical movement to encourage release of pent-up energy in a positive manner, exercise, do some yoga, cut firewood – anything you can give you all to physically.  Then breath, just breath in the refreshing air to fill the spaces anger has left, oxygen in – tension out, soften your muscles and ground into the earth. 

Oils that can help douse the heat of anger are generally cooling and soothing like Peppermint, Roman Chamomile, Vanilla and Myrrh.

Positive:

Joy — Opposite of depression or fatigue, an outward expansive expression, radiance, the ability to allow that expression of great happiness, open your heart to the positive wonders of life.  Goal is to provide a feeling of open, joyfulness, happy inner child, gleeful, playful, excited about a passion, Love, heart chakra

 Lift the heart with citrus and florals: Yuzu, Bergamot, Blood Orange, Green Mandarin, Rose Otto, or Geranium. Smile as you breathe them in — joy loves to be welcomed with an open heart.

Serenity — a deep, quiet calm that brings clarity and rest, feelings of internal & emotional clearness, calmness of the mind, stronger than contentment, a quiet strength, quietness, coolness, stillness, peace.  A beautiful sunset, immense feelings of gratefulness, a beautiful setting, moment or sight, beyond pleasing to the soul.

Create a cozy physical environment for yourself and enlist Cardamom, Lemon Verbena, White Rose, or a drop of sacred Frankincense to create a calm sanctuary for safe reflection.   

Creativity — Having the motivation, desire & ability to nurture & grow something, produce new ideas, embrace new possibilities, think in new ways, make a plan, create excitement, change something, allowing your imagination to flow, desire, willpower, to dream up something new, plan the how tos & details, make it happen.  Ability to find solutions, make goals, aspire to solve or accomplish challenges.  Movement forward. Brings all the other emotions together in a synergy / alchemy to get it done.  Pure positivity.   

When you’re ready to move from feeling and stuck to embracing action, spice and citrus aromas such as Cinnamon Bark, Ginger, Sweet Orange, Hinoki Cypress, Yellow Mandarin, or Bergamot help can help you along the way.

Practical Tips for Aromatic Self-Care

Beginning or maintaining an aromatic self care practice isn’t hard or complicated — but it does work especially when you make it part of your daily routines.

Here’s how to begin:

Name the feelings you are wresting with. 
You don't need to pick just one feeling nor use the medically accepted term, use you own key words to get you started.  Pause. Ask: How do I really feel right now? Name it honestly. Sad? Scattered? Heavy? Stuck? Naming it takes away its power to overrun you.

Choose with Intention
Choose up to 3 oils that supports the emotions you want to release or welcome into your life - Brighten, ground, soothe, uplift — you decide. If you’re not sure, trust your nose: if a scent makes you breathe deeper and feel safe, that’s the right one. Sniff and smile as I say

Use your oils and self care time safely & effectively
Often we only need 20 minutes of diffused oils or a few quick inhales from a personal inhaler to feel a shift.  Explore how different oils make you feel so you know what to use to achieve a particular emotional state and use it in a manner that works best for you.  Personally, I carry Bergamot in a personal inhaler for those sudden moments of anxiety and overwhelm and a roller bottle with Frankincense for when I need a bit of grounding or my arthritis is acting up causing frustration.

Pair It with Ritual
Use your aroma together with a self care action: morning journaling, mindful stretching, mid day walk , a bedtime cup of tea. This practice when done consistently and mindfully helps reinforce that this aroma or ritual is a safe place for you to just be.

Check In & Adjust
Our emotional landscape changes as we change & so should our aromatic allies. What comforts today might shift tomorrow. Its okay to be curious about the benefits of other oils, be creative and enjoy your aromatic self care practice. 

I would love to help you find a good starting point on your aromatherapy journey.  Please reach out and lets chat

Remember - When feelings run high, we don’t need to ignore them, push them away or struggle to fight them — we need to hear what they are trying to tell us and respond as we would to a friend in need.

Each drop of your chosen oil is a reminder you have the tools to move from short term or long standing dysregulation, back to a place of true sustainable balance where emotions can do their job and then step aside.

If you’re curious about building your own aromatic self-care ritual or want help choosing oils, reach out as I’m always here.

 I would love to know what is your go to oil or self care technique for altering your mood or balancing the demands of a hard, stressful demanding day. 

The next lesson is focused on supporting those with neurodivergent minds which I am looking forward to.  Join me won't you ?